Is it just me or is time standing still?

OK, its the final hour before the end of the work week and a 3-day weekend. You'd think I would be excited. Well you're wrong. This day is going by so slow that I can actually feel myself getting older as each minute passes. The day started off fine. The first 2 hours flew by. But then the hour before lunch basically dragged, knowing full well that I was going to cherish lunchtime. And from there, this day has just dragged on, kicking and screaming. And for what? I don't have any plans. I'm not going anywhere. Its not like there is anything for me to be excited about that would make me want to leave. No, its just the fact that this is the final day before a 3-day weekend. That's all it really is. And its pissing me off. Come on...all you need to do is say 4:00 and I am gone. Is that so difficult? For the love of all things small and furry....GET ON WITH IT!!!!

Are you there?

Is anyone actually reading this? I mean besides those who I asked to read it? I guess its hard to expect someone to just up and read your blog, especially if no one knows it exists. Perhaps I should put a counter at the bottom of the page? Yeah, then I will know just how pathetic I really am because the damn counter will never change. Sigh.

Anyway, I guess what really tipped off this latest rage is the current state of music. I just don't understand. Are there really that many idiots in this world? I was reading about how experts predict that this season of American Idiot has become the most popular and they expect the finale to be the biggest yet. Are you serious? There are really that many retards in the world? I mean come on, who gets the satisfaction of knowing that glorified karaoke singers are competing for a million-dollar contract and a guaranteed tour? I certainly don't. There are many unsigned and struggling bands out there that would kill for the opportunity to even open for an established act, and yet, these darlings of the television are being handed a contract and record with a minimum of going platinum at least twice (well, except for that Justin guy...but seriously, did you expect him to be any good with hair like that and a stupid smirk on his face?) and all they had to do was sing cover tunes for a television audience. Yeah, real deserving. And if I have to get into another argument with someone over how "the pressure they suffer is so immense that they deserve to have a record and tour" I am going to go Manson and stab someone in the belly with a fork. Seriously, who can justify this argument? Look at the facts:

1.) Kid stands in line for several hours for a chance to "audition" in front of an "expert" panel of "judges".
2.) If the kid can impress a fat, uninspiring album producer, a washed-up, has-been choreographer (who has no business telling someone they can or can't sing when she couldn't hold a tune herself), and a bitter, pretentious label head (who only got his notariety by doing that which makes the most sense...telling kids with no talent that they, in fact, have no talent), they are off to Hollywood...well, their parents, partners, whatever will take them to the airport where they will fly to Hollywood.
3.) Once in the land of stars, they will, once again, "audition" for the "judges", only this time they do routines and duets. Ooh, that's difficult. Singing with another person. YAWN!!!
4.) They get selected and spend the next 8-10 weeks (if they survive) singing covers 2 nights out of the week, and spending the rest of the time in a tricked out mansion in Malibu. Oh the horror. This group right here are already guaranteed a single on a compilation album, and a tour later in the year...wow, I don't now how they can take all this pressure.
5.) The final 2 will perform live with a song that they have been "working" on for the whole time. America (read: 30-million screaming girls and gay boys speed-dialing and text messaging Fox) votes on who they think is better, and boom, instant #1 single (because radio forces it on the airwaves 24/7 for a month), album, tour, etc.

Now, where in there is the pressure of having to deal with an audience that hates your music? When do they get to see what its like for a band to have beer bottles chucked at them? How are they deserving? How are they stressed? As far as I am concerned, all they do is sing some tunes, live in a 'Real World'-type house, and have absolutely no responsibility whatsoever. Fuck, they don't even write their own songs. And here's further proof of how bullshit this show is. That ugly red-headed kid, whatever his name is, did not have any business being in there. He had no talent (pretending to croon like ol' Blue Eyes is not talent...I can do that while taking a shit) to speak of and was about the whitest thing on Earth next to Carlton from 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air". I'm sorry, but this needs to stop. Something has got to give. When will America see that all they are doing is flooding the airwaves with more disposable tunes and less-talented singers. I don't mind pop music. There are some really talented acts out there (Christina and Jessica, Outkast, etc.), but then there are these damn fake pop princesses that think they are the top of the world (I blame Britney..she has a cute face, nice ass, perky tits, but she can't hold a note to save her life and her songs are obviously written by a 54-year old man), and its these "stars" that have tainted the music world and have allowed the insurgence of crap that is...American Idiot.

For every down, there's always an up

So what started out as a pretty shitty start to the week turned pretty positive. Monday I came into work pissed off from the obvious oversight that my boss made the week before in handing my job to someone other than me and realized that I had a 3-hour website developer's class to attend. So that was a bit of a plus, seeing as this meant I didn't have to be in my building for the first half of the day. Anything to keep my distance from the ball of negativity that has built up over here. Anyway, so I attend this class, fully expecting it to just be cut and dry nonsense that I already knew, when I came to find out that the company is going to be creating a web developers position, and that I was the lead candidate for it. Naturally I was high as a kite with this info. I just came off of a bad weekend, and now, suddenly, I forgot the travesty of not getting the promotion. So this made for a very good morning. Then, once class was over and I got back to work, my boss pulled me into the office and asked me to pick out my co-worker. Basically he felt that since I KNOW what is best for my department, that I should be the one to pick the team. So I got to pick my co-worker that I have been trying hard to get over here. Bonus happiness for me.

Now, I hear that not only do both of my girlfriend's children have ear infections, but now the youngest has a rash caused by the medicine she was given to combat it. Not only that, but my grandmother informed me that my grandpa had a pacemaker installed to help regulate his heartbeat. Great, so now I can only hope that equally momumental highs are in store for me, otherwise the title for this blog is quite false, wouldn't you say?

Trials and tribulations of a non ass-kissing employee

Well, this post finds me in a foul, yet vulnerable mood. Recently two constituents of mine had been removed from their positions in my department for illegal behavior that cost the company some dough. One of these people happened to be my immediate boss. Now this wasn't some run-of-the-mill asshole by any means. I have worked with him for several years (6 to be exact). The same goes for my co-worker who was also let go. She was a firecracker in her own right, but she was one of the guys nonetheless.

Getting to the point, with my boss' removal, this opened up his position. Now, not to take anything away from my ex-boss' performance, but he didn't exactly make HIMSELF look good, it was a combination of efforts between myself and my ex co-worker. I had worked under him in another department 2 years prior, and it has been brought to my attention NOW that it was my efforts then that made him look good enough to get the job that he has recently been removed from. I practically did his job, and all at the same time I made him look good. Of course, little voices coming at me have led me to believe NOW that after all I did for him, he spent a good part of his tenure trying to debunk my efforts and, in essence, have me fired for incompetency. What the hell is this? After all I did for him, all the whining I endured, all the time we spent hanging out and grabbing drinks had all been for naught. Well, this left me feeling pretty shitty, but also it instilled in me the power to regroup and try for his vacated position, a feat that should have been rather simple...If it weren't for one person, the ass-kisser.

I had the job pegged. It was mine. My supervisor, the one doing the hiring, even told me the job was written for me. But, there was foul work afoot. See, I work in an off-site building from my company's main campus. We are a small, autonomous operation that employees 8 people. We have our own system of leadership that runs very well, and we are a pretty tight group of people. But, the particular operations I am involved with here is relatively new to this group. And one of the people that started in this building, an ass-kisser by nature and reputation, has been hard-up for a leadership role since the my group showed up. He was always promised, but never saw results. He was ready to leave, and tried unsuccessfully several times prior to secure a leadership position outside of our building. When the firings went down, you would have thought he was a starving dog salivating over a freshly-cut side of beef. He was about to sink his teeth into it, until I stepped up and noted my desire to lead my group. Then he stepped back, feeling the hurt of knowing that someone was more qualified than him to get the position. A short victory for me that would never be celebrated.

When he announced to the super of his reluctance to apply for the job because of me, the super should have accepted it as the best thing to do and left it at that....but no. He told him to apply anyway, as he wanted a variety of good candidates to choose from. I saw this, originally, as a proving ground to stake my claim in once the position was handed to me. What I should have seen was an obvious ploy to hand over MY job to the resident ass-kisser that the super has had a boner for since the day they started the operations.

No, he's not gay...he just sees himself in this kid. I say kid because I am 3 years his elder. I also have 3 years seniority over him. So I should have rightfully received this job by default...but this is not the case. In the end, ass-kiss gets the job and I get the bullshit cookie-cutter explanation of "He's had the leadership role in his eye a lot longer than you, and while you have the technical know-how and this position was practically made for you, I have to follow my instinct and go with what I feel is the better candidate."

Are you fucking kidding me? Did he just say that? This job was made for me...I am the most-qualified for the job...but because I didn't have the desire to be a leader (unbeknownst to said super, I have been trying to leave the building for some time in a leadership capacity, but nothing ever materialized from my leads), I lost out? Are you on drugs? How the hell can you begin to tell me something like this? I should have seen it coming, but I was filled with so much pride from the number of people who wished me luck and assured me I would get the job that I was blindsided by this obvious case of favoritism. I'd take it to HR, but in all honesty, it would cause me more grief from my super thinking I hate him, and my new boss thinking I am trying to screw him over and cost him his newly-acquired job. So, what do I do? Simple...start looking for something new. Either inside the company, or out, I am poised with my schooling and my skills to find something better...and to get out of this obviously lop-sided rule that is going to run the building into a brick wall. I used to have pride in my job...now I'm embarrassed I even work there. Pity, because I make a good living and have a lot of time in it. I just can't STAND to see undeserving people get a high-paying gig with responsibility they will obviously squander, or hand down to me for them to take credit for. Ah, office life.

Why are you so stupid?

You know what really pisses me off? Stupid people. And I am not talking about those who occasionally have a brain lapse and do something stupid...no no no. I am talking about people who thrive in their stupidity. These people have as much stupidity as I have blood. If stupidity were a currency, they'd be billionaires. I think you get my point. There are times where I feel like God put these people on Earth just to piss me off. They get in my way, talk their talk, and then argue to no end about their stance, only to annoy me and make me bow out in default. Want an example?

My bank made an error in their favor that cost me roughly $60. This made no sense to me, so I called up the customer support department, being that this is the only way to get an answer without listening to 20 different recordings all telling me how much they value my service and which button I should press to achieve nirvana. So this half-wit answers (How do I know she's a half-wit? Easy, she has a nice, thick Kentucky accent, that's how.) I calmly explain my quandary and ask that it be rectified immediately. I give out all my pertinent information she asked for, and I sat patiently as she fat-fingered my account number into the computer 3 times (I know she fat-fingered because no one hits 7 keys all at once without screwing something up...it was that loud..I heard them over the phone). Anyway, so she types in all this information and then says I overdrafted my account, not once, but twice, and they charged me $60 in fees. Here's the kicker...there isn't anything on my register or transaction log that shows where these could have originated from. I put just enough money in this account to pay bills, and no more. There should have been about $17 left in this account. All my transactions added up correctly, and the total balance was $16.74. I mention all this to her, once again in a nice, friendly tone. She then goes on about how I had two debits, one for $21.20 and one for $1.00 in that overdrafted my account. I asked who they were from, a little annoyed now because who the hell debited my account without my authorization? She stated that these were from Verizon Wireless. Ah, the cell phone company. But what the hell, they got their money for my bill 2 weeks ago, what's this? At this point I am logging onto my online banking page to see, in detail, what they debited. I log onto the page, and there aren't any debits listed. I ask her to verify her information, and then to make sure she was looking at my account. She states everything correctly, but these two debits do not exist on my account. I am getting a little steamed at this point because she's just typing away, telling me I owed them this money and that there is nothing that they can do to help me out. I ask her why these aren't showing up on my account, and she says its because Verizon cancelled these debits before they posted to the account.

Great, so I shouldn't have overdraft charges then, right? Wrong. She claims that my account still overdrafted. I ask her to prove it. I told her to add up all that was on there and then subtract it from my beginning balance and tell me what she gets. What was her answer? $16.74. What did she say then? "Well, then when you factor in the $60 in fees, its -$43.26. WHAT?!?! DID YOU JUST SAY THAT?!?!?! YOU JUST TOLD ME MY ACCOUNT WAS IN THE POSITIVE, YET YOU STILL ADD IN THE OVERDRAFT CHARGES?!?!?! DOES THIS NOT MAKE ANY SENSE TO YOU?!?!? DID YOU TAKE MATH IN SCHOOL?!?!?! She gets upset (and rightfully so) and tells me I need to speak with her manager. "Good, I was beginning to actually feel my IQ slip below 140 during this conversation," I so eloquently stated. I heard her sigh as she put me on hold. Ah the power of being an asshole.

So the manager gets on, tells me that I have upset his employee, to which sent me into another tirade that basically left him breathless and without any cocky/witty comeback. He asked me to tell him what was wrong, I explained, and wouldn't you know it, he credited my account for the 2 erroneous fees, and issued a stern warning of "Next time you call, try to be a little courteous to our staff as they are only trying to help. If not, we could be forced to close your account." I scoffed at his warning and told him, "Do something stupid like this again and I will not only close my account for you, but I'll see your asses in court for incompetence, harassment, failure to provide service, and theft," and quickly hung up the phone. Ah, the fun I have in my life with stupid people....what bliss. And all this on a Friday. Oh what fun will the weekend bring?

My first blog

Well, it only took me 5 years to build up enough curiosity to look into this blogging phenomenon. Hmm, and I thought I was on the cutting edge of technology-driven pop culture. There goes my ego, deflated and bruised. Ah, anyway, I guess a brief introduction is in order for all those who choose to view this atrocity of a blog (is this even a word?).

My name is Josh. I was born, raised, and probably will die in Indiana. I live a pretty normal life. Well, I guess that's an exaggeration. My life is quite unique. I am blessed with the ability to sponge up any and all useless knowledge and store it away for use at a later date. This is especially helpful when I pop into a pub with the fellas and someone rants on and on about a particular line uttered in a movie or what kind of music a particular media icon might enjoy. Some brandish me a know-it-all, but I like to think of it as an eccentric breadth of knowledge that they are too jealous to appreciate. Perhaps I'll be on Jeopardy one day.

Anyway, I work for a major, international diagnostics company based here in Indiana. I make a good living, earn good money, live in a great apartment, and have a very beautiful girlfriend. Oh, I'm 25...just to clear that up. Yeah, I know...I should be living in a house. Well, that's another story for another time. I think I have summed up the basics that will get you through these posts....oh wait, I almost forgot. I am a rambler by heredity, so these posts will probably be pretty long-winded and bounce all over the place from topic to topic. Dammit, I'm eccentric, get over it. Also, I am a pretty funny guy. Most people say things like that and really aren't, but I seriously am. I crack myself up sometimes with the words that fall out of my mouth. Perhaps some of that will spill over into this........then again, this is just a glorified diary...the only comedy in that is the pathetic attempt at trying to make yourself seem witty when all you really are doing is talking to yourself, pretending someone will actually read this and think, "Hmm, this guy is pretty cool, I wish I was like him." Sigh, why do I even bother. Perhaps I shouldn't have done this after all....curse you, insane curiosity. Why do you torment me so?!?!?!