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Hello all...me again.

So another Memorial Day weekend has come and gone and with it, the childish splendor that is summer vacation. I remember a time when I loved Memorial weekend. The Indy 500, barbecues, no more school, road trips with the family. Times were a lot simpler and fun. But now, I look back and I feel empty. A void that has replaced that warmth and happiness. Why? What am I missing? Ah yes....youth. Looking back, I feel old. I know it was only 12 years ago, but when you think about it, that's a really long time. That's infancy, toddler, elementary school-age, puberty, and pre-teen, to put it into perspective. And thinking about THAT alone is enough to make me sick to the stomach. Gone are the carefree days where we can wake up at noon and go to bed at 3am. Gone are the days of calling up your friend and popping over to watch their father's pornos while talking about the intricacies of a boner and how big a certain schoolmate's breasts are. Gone is the excitement of your parents telling you that the whole family is heading to **insert theme park name** for the weekend or to **insert family gathering** in **insert state** for a week. And gone is the passion and desire of a young couple's summer love, tinged with sexual innuendo and heavy petting in a conditioned and controlled "exploration period". Yeah, while some people look at Memorial Day weekend and think about warm weather, swimming pools, and camping trips, I sit back and sadly recall a time when I didn't care about responsibility, and I didn't worry about how much money I have or if I will be able to pay all my bills. I solemnly reminisce on a period of my life where I genuinely felt happy, with no need for outside companionship or monetary stability. Most people love this time of year....I dread it. It brings up painful memories of a doomed first relationship. It leaves me pondering the kind of summers I'll be able to provide my girlfriend's children (and perhaps our own if we ever make it that far), but most of all...it leaves me longing to be young again, in the thick of adolescence, where my only concerns and worries are who's house are we setting a tent up in and how much trouble am I going to be in because I am 20 minutes late in coming home for the night. Ah, growing up....how I loathe your rank embrace of adulthood.